Why Do You Lie?

ILLUSTRATION: Tell a story about a time you told a silly lie.

TENSION:

• It’s beneficial to determine the why behind your lie.

• (In my example, my deception was evidence of my insecurity.)

• I wanted to fit in, so I said something untrue in order to win the approval of my friends. However, it backfired when I was caught in my fib.

• People have a propensity for lying.

• This is especially evident in the lives of children.

• They claim they cleaned their room when they really just pushed the mess under the bed.

• They blame their sibling for the broken window when they were actually the culprit.

• They say they completed their homework when their binder is full of empty worksheets.

• They lie while sitting on Santa’s lap by claiming they’ve been good when they really cut their dog’s hair earlier that week.

• The white lies of childhood feel silly now, but lying is a dangerous habit that can wreak havoc on your life.

• When you study Proverbs 12, the sentences seem disorganized as if Solomon randomly jumps from thought to thought.

• If a student submitted Proverbs to an English teacher, he’d likely get a D.

• There is no thesis, no theme, and there are no transitions.

• While it seems scattered, this is common in ancient wisdom literature.

• These proverbs probably weren’t written together like an essay.

• Instead, they were compiled as a collection. This book represents a collection of short sayings that speak to the risk of bad character and the reward of good character.

• As Solomon parallels the foolish and the wise, he acknowledges a common character trait of fools: they lie. 

—TRANSITION—

I’m sure you’ve lied and been affected by lies. We often try to underplay the severity by saying things like “white lie” or “little lie.” “I didn’t hurt them, I just didn’t share the whole truth.”

However, we’ve all seen it. Lying leads to pain. Maybe you have lied to get out of trouble — or maybe someone lied about you for them to get out of trouble. Maybe someone tried to hurt your reputation by spreading a lie. Or maybe you have even been caught in a lie, breaking trust that can take years to rebuild.

We need to figure out how to stop this cycle, so here are three practical points about dishonesty.

1: Find the why behind your lie.

• We often disguise our lies.

• We purposely mislead, but don’t purposely flat-out lie.

• We commit to the truth. “I didn’t directly lie, I just didn’t tell the full truth.”

• We claim the fib is for someone’s best interest.

• That someone is usually us.

• Let’s be real. Most people would never confess to being a liar. However, they may say things they don't truly mean.

• People exaggerate or elaborate to make themselves look good.

• They might pretend to be someone they’re not.

• People can say something with their lips while doing something different with their life.

• These examples may seem innocent, but they can destroy other’s trust in you.

• We must confront the truth. Lying can crush relationships, make your life difficult, and lead to an identity crisis.

• It’s hard to truly have a close, personal relationship with a person who can’t tell the truth.

• It’s so challenging to live a life of lies, because remembering the truth can become complicated.

• Ultimately, we tell so many lies that our lives become one. We have created a persona build on a foundation of fabrication.

• Next thing you know, no one really knows the real you.

• There must be a better way to live.

2: Honesty is part of God’s identity.

• It’ll change your whole world when you build your life on honestly and integrity.

• Truth is not just important to God.

• Honesty is God’s identity (Psalm 31:5).

• If we want to be more like Jesus, honesty is at the core of Jesus’ nature.

• Jesus even refers to Himself as the truth.

• Jesus doesn’t just tell the truth. He is the truth — embodied.

• Honesty is foundational to God’s character, so it’s also foundational to our behavior. 

• Tell the truth, even when it’s hard.

• Own up to your mistakes.

• Be the kind of person who can be trusted.

• Which brings us to point three.

3: The truth isn’t just holy; it’s also helpful.

• Think about it. Truth produces trust.

• If you always tell the truth, then you don’t have to work on keeping your story straight.

• If someone lies to you about something minor, what’s to say they won’t deceive you about something major?

• One lie can make all your truths questionable. When you get caught in a lie, it will ultimately damage your trustworthiness.

• Telling the truth reveals your reliability.

• You want to be a friend that people trust.

• You want to be the kind of person someone can confide in.

• You want to be the team player that coaches brag about.

• All of that starts with committing to a life of honesty.

Landing: I am sure some of you can recount lies you’ve told — and even ones you’re currently telling. I don’t want to shame you; I want to show you that there is a better option for you.

• When you always tell the truth, you never have to keep the story straight, you become a better friend, and you reflect the nature of God.

• Commit to a life of honesty and integrity from this day forward.

TALK IT OUT  Go through these questions with your circle. Be honest. Be open. Talk through the tough stuff.

Q1: What’s the silliest lie you’ve ever told? Why do you think you said that?

Q2: How do people often justify lying?

Q3: How can a “white lie” quickly become something that impacts your life and your relationships? 

Q4: Why is truthfulness so important to God?

Q5: What can you do if you’re in a situation that you’ve been lying about?

Q6: What can you do moving forward to speak only the truth? 

READ THESE PASSAGES IN ORDER EVERY DAY

1 John 3:18

Proverbs 10:12

John 15:12

Proverbs 1:8-9 1

Corinthians 15:33

Proverbs 7:1-5

Philippians 4:8-9

Do the following with each passage: 

ASK– God to connect with you here. In prayer, start by slowing down and inviting God to be present. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you today.

READ– the selected section of Scripture slowly. Take note of the words and phrases that intrigue you, reading them a second time if necessary.

REFLECT– on what grabs you. How does this passage personally relate to your own life and experiences?

RESPOND– to the Scripture. Speak directly to God about what’s on your mind and heart. Look for ways to live out what you’ve uncovered.