Gossip: Tasty Little Morsels

ILLUSTRATION: Tell a story about hearing students gossip about each other — don’t get too specific of course.

TENSION:

• We hear it all the time.

• “Did you hear about her?”

• "Can you believe what he was doing this weekend?”

• “Did you know that her parents just split up?”

• “Elvis is actually alive and living in Barbados.”

• While gossip seems silly, there is also something addicting about it. Drama is literally like a drug, releasing dopamine in our brains.

• There is something exhilarating and intoxicating about being in the loop and knowing something that you shouldn’t.

ILLUSTRATION: Pull out an over-the-top tabloid magazine.

• People obsess with being in the loop or knowing something they really shouldn’t. Magazines like this are built on that rush [Then read off some clean headlines.]

• It’s the foundation of reality television, tabloid magazines, and drama-obsessed YouTube channels.

• It’s addicting — and it’s also dangerous.

• Let’s cut to the chase. Gossip hurts people.

• It hurts both the person being gossiped about and the person that is sharing it. When Solomon was writing down his little wisdom nuggets in Proverbs, he mentioned gossip dozens of times.

• To slam a serious stamp on the topic, he listed it as one of the seven deadly sins (Proverbs 6).

• Why would God want gossip to be on the same list as murder?

• Because gossip is toxic. It has the power to destroy friendships, families, and even churches.

• Have you heard of Confucius, Socrates, or Lao Tzu?

• All of these super-old writers and teachers passed down ancient proverbs as a way to pass down practical wisdom from generation to generation.

• It’s worth understanding that the concept of a “book of wise sayings” isn’t exclusive to Christianity or Judaism. We see it in almost every culture around the world.

• It’s a central part of human civilization. Everyone wants a good life — that often starts with taking good advice.

• There is one major distinction of the Biblical proverbs through. They were written by people under the inspiration of God. These short sayings are designed to show us what it looks like to live a life that honors God and each other.

• I find it so interesting that a God-inspired book about wisdom so heavily focuses on the way we interact with other people. It’s not just about theology, it’s about being a good friend, partner, or classmate.

• This is because honoring God and honoring people are inter-connected, like two pedals on the same bicycle.

• Each pedal works together, propelling you towards your ultimate goal.

• What is that goal? It’s wisdom.

• Over and over again, Solomon personifies “wisdom” as a woman.

• We don’t know exactly why he makes this distinction, but it helps us understand that wisdom is not some impersonal, intangible concept.

• It’s an attribute of God himself, which means it’s both personal and powerful.

— TRANSITION —

Let’s step out of the past and into the present.

If we listen to the words of the wise, then we will develop the crucial behaviors and character traits that lead to a successful, God-honoring life.

Often wisdom is about what you’re supposed to do. — we call this “commission.”

It’s wise to:

“Wake up early”

“Read God’s word daily”

“Give 110%”

“Invest in the stock market.”

However, wisdom can also be about what you shouldn’t do — this is called “omission.”

“Don’t lie”

“Don’t touch the hot stove”

“Don’t try to pet a cat when it’s eating”

These omissions carry a central theme — don’t hurt people. Which leads us to today’s topic — gossip.

• Solomon suggests that gossip is like a "dainty morsel.”

• Think of this chatter like a cute, sweet treat that’s both tasty and bad for your health.

ILLUSTRATION: Bring out a box of chocolates.

• Imagine gossip like a box of eye-catching chocolates where each piece is packed with poison.

• They are appealing to the eyes and sweet on the tongue, but hurtful to your heart. It looks delightful, but it’s actually destructive.

• Read off the calorie count for eating an entire box. Yes, eating all these would be delicious, but it could also be destructive.

• This is the nature of gossip. It’s sweet for a moment, but it’s ultimately selfish.

• Selfishness is like the sweet nougat center of gossip.

• Discussing someone else’s problems and shortcomings makes us feel better about ourselves.

• Gossip serves a quick fix for our desire to feel superior. We must drop this harmful habit. You will never raise yourself up by bringing someone else down. Discussing someone’s weakness doesn’t make you stronger.

• The opposite is true.

• Giving up gossip reveals strength.

• Let’s talk about the most common push-back I hear. Students say, “But I am not gossiping if it’s true!”

• People spout off statements like this to get themselves off the hook.

• However, gossip is not the same as lying.

• You are still gossiping, even if every single sentence is true.

• If it doesn’t involve you, then you shouldn’t share it.

• Voltaire, a French writer and historian, elaborated on this by saying, “Everything that is said should be true, but not everything true should be said.”  Ask yourself these two questions to guard yourself from gossip:

Question One: Does this concern me? 

• The danger of gossip is that you insert yourself into a situation where you aren’t part of the problem or the solution.

• If it’s not a situation you’re in, then it’s not your story to tell. Simple as that.

• Don’t talk about something that does not involve you.

• This will protect you from the pitfalls of gossip.

Question 2: Have you spoken to _________ about this?

• If someone comes to you with some juicy drama, fight your urge to listen.

• Listening is just as dangerous as gossiping.

• Stop the story and ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

• If the person has not spoken to the person they’re slandering, then this exchange must be extinguished.

• If their gossiping represents a pattern, then you may need to evaluate if you can trust this person.

• If someone is willing to gossip with you, then they’re willing to gossip about you.

Landing: Proverbs cuts to the chase by saying,

“Whoever spreads slander is a fool” (10:18).

• You don’t want to be a fool, right?

• Slandering someone doesn’t just hurt them; it hurts you, too.

• Every little piece of drama you share is a crack in the foundation of your friendships.

• There is a better way to live! Don’t share rumors. Share kindness.

• Don’t spread secrets. Spread compliments.

• Acknowledge her talents.

• Brag about his accomplishments.

• Celebrate her creativity.

• Gossip makes people sink, but kindness makes them soar.

TALK IT OUT 

Go through these questions with your circle. Be honest. Be open. Talk through the tough stuff.

Q1: Is gossip prevalent in your school? 

Q2: Have you ever found out that your friends were gossiping about you? How did that make you feel?

Q3: What can you do when you don’t want to gossip, but everyone around you is talking badly about someone?

Q4: Why do you think people like to gossip?

Q5: Why do you think it’s so important to God that we refrain from gossiping? 

Q6: What’s something practical that you can you do this week to stop gossiping?

READ THESE PASSAGES IN ORDER EVERY DAY

Matthew 18:5-6 2

Corinthians 6:14-18

Acts 16:6-10

Luke 6:27-36

Proverbs 14:4-6 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Hebrews 10:10-11

Do the following with each passage: 

ASK– God to connect with you here. In prayer, start by slowing down and inviting God to be present. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you today.

READ– the selected section of Scripture slowly. Take note of the words and phrases that intrigue you, reading them a second time if necessary.

REFLECT– on what grabs you. How does this passage personally relate to your own life and experiences?

RESPOND– to the Scripture. Speak directly to God about what’s on your mind and heart. Look for ways to live out what you’ve uncovered.